The 2003 Story from Santa...
The Day is December 13th. Expect to start in the morning around 10 or 11 AM. A hotline number will also be available if you want to try to catch up with the santas in mid rampage. Santa highly recommends spending the whole day until at midnight you are delirious and exhausted and you are shouting at strangers or mumbling to yourself and the whole thing gets blurry and you wake up the next day in Tijuana.
This venerable tradition is almost a decade old, and makes flash mobs look like sitting at home watching Martha Stewart. Picture archive at santarchy.
How to be prepared:
Definitely bring some money and ID. Its not uncommon for a spontaneous chant of "Santa Needs A Beer!" to initiate the invasion of a bar. Or also times when "Santa needs sophisticated adult entertainment"
A bottle of water and some snacks is a good idea.
Comfortable boots are a good idea.
Dress warm, it will probably be very cold and we will be marching around outside at many points of the day. There will be some points indoors where you will suddenly be overdressed. There is nothing wrong with santa stripping.
Bring your "Holiday Spirit" as you understand "Holiday Spirit", which is to say santas are encouraged to let loose, be obnoxious, make a mockery of the holiday, act in a confusing and disorienting manner to holiday shoppers . . . BE SURLY. Yell. Sing naughty carols. Experiment with interpretive dance in front of traffic. But on the other hand do not leave all your good judgement behind. Be aware and try not to do the obscene stuff in front of children, try not to make people feel unsafe, and don't get sent to the hospital. OK?
Bring gifts you can give out. If you want, bring naughty gifts to give grown ups. If you want, bring nice stuff to give kids. If you want, bring coal to give evildoers. Its all up to you, Santa.
YES! You must be wearing santa/holiday/whatever theme wardrobe. Yes! You can come dressed as an elf/snowman/reindeer/Chanukah Harry/A Sandwich. But you gotta be something and be the hell out of it. No spectators allowed. NO! A santa hat is not enough. Get a santa suit. Make a santa suit. Transform those red longjohns. If you don't have any creativity, buy something. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any money and you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask god to help you.
Note: You get what you pay for in a santa suit. $10 suits are made of thin, cheap flannel that won't keep you warm and will rip in the crotch. Nuff said.
2003 santa suit sources:
Party City on 14th in Manhattan has 100's of suits from $29 to very, very expensive.
Rikki's on 6th Ave has 6, count 'em 6! suits for 39.99.
Traditional sources:
WILLIAMSBURG/GREENPOINT
$10 Suits at GEM Discount Grand near the corner of Manhattan Ave. (L-train to Graham Ave.)
$39 plush at Children's Playworld (next door to GEM Store) at 705 Grand St(near Graham Ave) (718)387-3692 close at 7pm
MANHATTAN
Cheap $10 suits GEM Delancey & Norfolk St
Cheap Hats available Rite-Aid and similar stores
Red Felt cheap at K-mart
Red tree skirts at Discount Stores make great Santa Skirts
Full line at Halloween Adventure Store 11th St & 4th Ave
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